Right Here, Right Now.

First off, I know this music post is going to get a fuckload of crap from my friends. To address this: I already told you. I fucking love High School Musical (campiness and all), so go fuck yourselves. Honestly, everytime I say goodbye (or attempt to), I think of this song. Ironically, I associate this song with a bad relationship (or love interest, my first love to be exact-- but that sounds totally fucking lame and I hate the phrase), but it's turned into so much more. It's sad because this scene, though meant to evoke all the emotions seniors feel during their last year of high school (except for me, because I nerded out and intellectually peaked in my senior of high school), is exactly how I feel at this moment. And no, I don't need a Zac Efron to feel this way: you all are my Zac Efrons. ;) (Which means I would jump each and every one of your bones)

I've written this over and over, drafting a meaningful enough draft that would convey all the feelings that I am feeling at this current moment. But I just can't-- honestly, I've been in denial for the longest time, and now that I'm listening to Ben Folds, for some reason, it's all hit me at once. So, here it is.  I'm writing this in hopes that my friends will see this. If you are, I'm grateful that each one of you entered my life. I've watched so many of you grow up, and you've watched me do the same. It's amazing to say that I've spent the past two years loving and living with each and every one of you. Friends have come and gone, but you're the ones who have sticked. And I know I hardly show it, but I will miss every single one of you. You're the ones who have helped me grow up. And I'm grateful for every single one of you.

I don't really have much else to say, because I don't want to admit this is goodbye. But, I guess realistically, things will change. It's just like leaving high school all over again-- I'm not going to be able to keep in touch with you. A very good friend of mine told me that while me transferring bummed her out, it was just preparation for the future for when we would all eventually graduate and head our separate ways: I was just getting a head start. I guess the majority of what I'm feeling now is pretty delayed: I never felt this way about my friends in high school. To be frank, I feel like I've always been great at goodbyes, but maybe that's because I never feel like I'm actually saying goodbye to anyone. The hardest goodbyes for me to muster up have been the ones I've been reluctant to give because they're the ones that I know in my heart, are the ones that will be the last ones I'll be saying to that person.

I love you and I already miss you, I hope you all know that in your hearts. But this isn't goodbye-- it's just a see you later.