i never made promises lightly

Listening to this song will always take me back to middle school. I had the pleasure of singing this song for my dad's show. I was in some weird ass medieval-era costume and held a basket. I don't know. Don't ask me, I don't really remember. The point is... I was a late bloomer when it came to relationships. This song reminds me that when there's no other guy you can turn to.... your daddy is always there.
My father and I don't exactly have that strong of a relationship at the moment. I suppose it stems from the fact that I'm in college now, and the fact that I am now able to assert myself. I'm no longer my father's youngest child-- I am a full grown woman. With her own ideals and goals. I guess this post is to confirm my greatest fears, as well as my father's: I am no longer a pre-med student. It was a pretty rough decision to come to grips with, but I'm glad that I made the decision. I just don't have the drive or passion for the subjects that I need to become a doctor. While I absolutely love the field of medicine, I just don't see myself doing well in any of the courses that I need.

Disappointment hits hard, especially when you've been seen as the "black sheep" in your family your whole life. No doubt, this will continue to contribute to the whole thing. I'm afraid of being a disappointment to someone who has instilled in me that "Anything can happen if you just believe in yourself." Unfortunately, over time-- I've learned that this isn't always true. Sometimes you have to fight and make your own judgments, despite what others are forcing you to believe. I feel like I constantly disappoint my parents no matter how hard I try. I suppose it's all part of the "asian stereotype" though.

The only time I don't ever feel like a complete failure when I'm talking to my father is when I'm singing. This is why this song, especially this arrangement, plays over and over in my head. My father is a very charismatic man. With that charisma, of course, comes his inflated ego, but everything that comes out of his mouth is 100% true. My father not only talks the talk, he can also walk the walk. He is someone I've always aspired to become, and making him proud is something I've always strived towards. When I performed this song, I saw the look on my father's face after-- it was a look of pure, unadulterated admiration and joy. I could do no wrong in his eyes in that split second. While my father and I don't exactly have the same taste in music (in fact, most of the songs I ended up being "forced" to sing, due to his influence, I hated at the split second. Now, I love the majority of the songs), he and I have an unmistakable, unbreakable bond over music itself.

I certainly hope that my father can get on my level and see why I'm choosing this path. I have no idea if it's the right one, and I'm scared shitless to find out... but I hope that he can at least be  happy for me and push me into succeeding. I want to see the look on his face, the same one he gets after I sing.